Welcome

Hi, my name is Alys Jackson and I'm a poet and writer

based in Adelaide, South Australia.

My work has been published in magazines,

anthologies and online.

No More Maths!

I’m sorry Sir I cannot do it

cannot study maths today.

No, not now and no not never,

and not because I isn’t clever.

I’s a genius – that I know

because my granny told me so.

It’s just I have an allergy

to numbers 4 and 6 and 3.

Just to hear them brings on swelling,

achy knees and lots of yelling.

True Sir, cross my heart and die

especially if I multiply!

That’s the worst.

 

I cannot do arithmetic,

I promise Sir I’ll be sore sick.

Plus and minus – doing sums

puts purple pimples on both thumbs,

my hair will sneeze, my eyes turn red

and both my ears drop off my head.

 

I cannot do it. Not today

So can I go outside and play?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

48 thoughts on “No More Maths!

    • Hi again Emma, I’m glad that you thought the poem was funny and I hope that you enjoy maths at school. Bye Alys

  1. This poem is a great excuse for not doing maths, even though i love maths.
    And the poem has great rhyming words.

    • Hi Tawsida, I’m not sure your teachers will be pleased that my poem is giving you an excuse not to do maths :). Thank you for saying that the poem has great rhyming words. Bye, Alys

  2. I realy liked that poem👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
    So what inspired you to write that poem???
    I wish that all that stuff happened if i had to go to school so then i could do what ever i pleased😭😭😭IF ONLY😲
    Love Paige💟💟💟💜💜💜❤❤❤💗💗💗😎😎😎😍😍😍😉😉😉

    • Hi Paige, thank you for some great comments, and I love all the emoji’s 🙂 :). I wrote that poem because I DO NOT LIKE maths! I hope that you enjoy it more … Bye, Alys

    • Hi Camila. Wouldn’t that be wonderful!? I don’t think your teacher would believe it though 🙂 Bye Alys

  3. My name is Rosalie I’m from Elizabeth North Primary school . My age is 8 1/2 and I’m doing childrens university. I read your poem “No more maths”. I liked your poem because it was funny and really good to read. I hope you have a good day.

    • Hi Rosalie. Thank you for your lovely comments and I am really happy that you enjoyed my poem 🙂 I am very sorry that my message is so late!! I hope you have a good day, too! Bye, Alys

  4. Hi Alys,
    I liked your poem as I liked the rhyming words. I don’t like maths.
    Thanks,
    Hunter

    • Hi Hunter, thank you for reading ‘No More Maths’ and I’m very happy that you like rhyming words. Bye Alys

  5. Dear Alys Jackson,
    The poem made me feel like maths could be fun!
    I like the poem because it had rhyming words and it was funny.
    This poem makes me want to try and write my own poem like this, but maybe about science etc.
    Love the poem “NO MORE MATHS!”
    From Stephanie.

    • Hi Stephanie, some great comments! I really hope you try your own poem. They are such fun to write. Science is a good topic, too. Good luck Alys 🙂

    • Hi Kassim, 🙂 I must admit that maths was never my favourite subject at school. And thank you for your comments. Bye Alys

  6. I read two other poems so I decided to read another poem I think it was great. Why did you decide to write it.
    From Lakeesha🐶🐰🐼🐼🐶🐶🐰🐰🐰🐼🐼🐼

    • Hi Lakeesha, I decided to write ‘No More Maths’ because I wasn’t very good at maths at school, and I thought it might be funny to come up with some very silly excuses. Bye Alys 🙂

  7. Hi Alys Jackson loved your poem it was funny 👍❤️👍
    How do you get so many ideas for so many great poems??????????????????????????????❤️😀❤️
    From Jacinta ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • Wow Jacinta, what lovely hearts and thumbs up!!!! I’m not sure where the ideas come from. Hmmmm, I’ll have to give that some thought. 🙂 Bye Alys

    • Hmmm?! That is a very good question Natalee. I’m not sure where my ideas come from. I will have to start paying attention. 🙂

  8. Hi Alys Jackson

    I loved your poem. It made me laugh. I liked how you said that your were allergic to 4, 3 and 6. I would add I would vomit if I ever did algorithms. A different ending could have being could I go to play it is a sunny day? Yay!

  9. Hi alys, this is a fantastic poem and I also dont like maths and its a funny way to express yourself

  10. Hi Alys,
    I like maths. but your poem made me feel like to quit maths. I like how you used rhyming words and grammar especially ‘ is’ with ‘I’.

    • Hi Nuwin. I’m happy that you like maths so please don’t quit 🙂 🙂 And I’m very happy that you enjoyed my poem. Bye Alys

  11. Hi Alys,
    When the poem said” I’m sorry sir I cannot do it cannot study maths today ”it kind like
    of lazy .why do you think some children not intersting to maths? But maths is my favorite subject!!!

    • Hi Methuli. I’m sorry this reply is so late!! And I love your comments 🙂 I agree it’s very, very lazy and lots of very intelligent people love maths. I’m glad maths is your favourite subject. You are very lucky to be good at maths. Bye Alys

    • Ha ha. Your comment made me chuckle. Nice one, Dinethri. I wonder if your mother will believe you though? Hmmmm. Not sure about that!! Good luck 🙂 Bye again. Alys

  12. Love the poem because it’s insanely relatable. im always dreading having maths lessons at school but I understand why we would need simple maths in the future.

    • Wow, I love your phrase ‘insanely relatable’ and understand totally. I was always struggling at maths and still get confused with fractions and percentages which is very embarrassing at times…sigh! But, it really is essential to learn maths, don’t you think? Bye Alys

  13. This poem contained a lot of rhyming and it was extremely entertaining. However, I actually don’t mind maths but I understand that it is quite vital for the future. This was an absolutely amazing poem.

    • Well done understanding how important maths is to our future. Without maths the world would be a very dull place to live, don’t you think? Bye Chomilka.

  14. The poem made me laugh. I liked how it sums up how I feel about maths. I liked the ending and wouldn’t change it.

    • Hi Jessica, I love your comment…”sums” up! Ha. Very good 🙂 And I’m glad you wouldn’t change the ending. I’m not sure I could think of another one!! Bye Alys

  15. Hi Alys I really like you no more maths short poem because I like the negotiating skills of the student. I never knew that hair could sneeze or your ears could fall of your head. this made me feel what excuses students make to not to do things that they don’t like.

    • Thank you Yenuli! 🙂 Your comments made me laugh. Good luck with your negotiating skills – I’m sure you’ll come up with something creatively convincing. Bye Alys

  16. This poem is awesome it made me laugh, do you like math’s? . How do you get so many ideas for poems?

    • Hmmm, do I like maths? Well, Fleur, if I’m counting jellybeans then maybe yes. Otherwise….NOOOOOOOO! PS: I’m not sure where my ideas come from. Maybe from all the yummy greens I eat? Bye Alys 🙂

  17. Dear Alys,
    This poem reminded me when I am in my language school I do half of my work and then ask my teacher to go out to play and she says “Do the rest of your work”.
    But you know I really love maths. 100+300=400
    About a different ending, I thought instead of the child saying to the teacher, can I go out to play, child could have said can I go home to play on my xbox. But I love outside play.
    Tirath

    • Wow Tirath, you are very good at maths!! That’s a huge addition. And I do like your different ending. I think it makes a lot of sense because so many children love to play on computers these days. When I was little we didn’t have computers… Bye Alys

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