Welcome

Hi, my name is Alys Jackson and I'm a poet and writer

based in Adelaide, South Australia.

My work has been published in magazines,

anthologies and online.

No More Maths!

I’m sorry Sir I cannot do it

cannot study maths today.

No, not now and no not never,

and not because I isn’t clever.

I’s a genius – that I know

because my granny told me so.

It’s just I have an allergy

to numbers 4 and 6 and 3.

Just to hear them brings on swelling,

achy knees and lots of yelling.

True Sir, cross my heart and die

especially if I multiply!

That’s the worst.

 

I cannot do arithmetic,

I promise Sir I’ll be sore sick.

Plus and minus – doing sums

puts purple pimples on both thumbs,

my hair will sneeze, my eyes turn red

and both my ears drop off my head.

 

I cannot do it. Not today

So can I go outside and play?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

82 thoughts on “No More Maths!

  1. Even though I like my maths, there were funny reasons to get out of it, I might use some myself. LOL.

    • Oh dear, Brian. I’m not sure your teacher will believe you if you say that doing maths ‘puts purple pimples on both thumbs’ Good luck trying Alys 😂

    • Thank you Xavier, I’m glad to hear that you like maths – which means you probably don’t need any excuses. Maybe I should do a different poem especially for you! No More Gym, perhaps? Or No More Art!? 🙂 Alys

  2. Great poem, this poem is the very opposite of me, I love to do maths.
    Love the words you used to tie maths with rhyming.
    It makes me believe that poems are actually really easy to make.

    • Great comments Matilda. It’s a neat trick to make rhyming poems look easy – I think the best ones are those that sound like someone is talking naturally. You are very lucky to love maths – that probably means you are good at it, too. I have to admit, I wasn’t the best student at maths 🙂 Alys

  3. Hi Alys
    I love this poems because it had a lot of rhymes and some silly bits and pieces in it.
    but I just have two questions. Where do you get these ideas to write a poem and
    how long did it take for you to write it?

    • Hi again Tiaana. I have no idea where the ideas come from. I think a lot about random, silly things – ideas just seem to pop into my mind when I least expect them to 🙂 It took a few weeks to write and edit this poem. Some poems take much, much longer but others can take as little as two days. Alys

  4. Hey Alys,

    Your poem is just like me. I hate maths even though it is a very important subject. I don’t like I will ever like maths unless it does get fun. Which doesn’t happen easily. Anyhow your poem was really descriptive.

    -Thisama

    • I understand Thisama. Maths was never my best subject although I’m not too bad at it now. They key is to practice. And yes, it is soooo important to learn. Especially if you need to count chocolate. 🙂 Alys

  5. HI Alys, I loved this poem because maths was involved. When I have to do a lot of maths and my dad and brother are playing outside I go ask and say if I can play and after I when I finish playing I will go straight back and continue doing my maths. This poem really made me laugh.

    PS. Do you like maths

    • It’s great that the poem made you laugh, Japleen. I’m not sure if I like maths. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. It depends on the situation and what kind of maths. I’m not very good at maths but I like to try. 🙂 Alys

  6. Hello Alys. My name is William Turner. I am 6 years old. I picked this poem to read because I like maths but I would rather be outside playing sport. The first thing I noticed was that it was a rhyming poem. I laughed at the part about ears sliding off and thumbs with pimples. Thank you for writing this funny poem.

    • Thank you for your comments William, and I’m very pleased you enjoyed the poem. It’s great to hear that you enjoy maths even though you’d prefer to be outside. And well done for noticing that it’s a rhyming poem. 🙂 Alys

  7. Hi Alys that was a really funny poem I enjoy maths sometimes but sometimes It is a bit boring.But I enjoyed your poem which made
    me laugh.

    • Nice to know that the poem made you laugh Omesh. I think I was like you at school – I didn’t mind maths but…….. 🙂 Alys

  8. Hi Aly

    I chose to The no more maths poem because i felt that i could relate to it and when i read it i was like oh my goodness that is so me. It’s exactly how i feel about maths and i really like the end bit where the student asks to go out and play. I really enjoyes this poem, it put a smile on my face and i told mum all about it.

    • Thank you Tehya, I am so glad you enjoyed the poem – it’s great to write poems because we can share so much of how we feel. It’s nice to know that you shared it with your mum 🙂 Alys

  9. Hi Alys, l loved that poem because l hate maths too because I think it’s tricky. l would complain to my teacher about maths but I don’t because you have to try your best.
    I like how the end of the sentences rhyme. It makes it fun to read.
    Love Mikayla

    • Hi Mikayla. Yes, maths was never my strong point either although I tried so very hard at school. I must say I’m getting much better. I seem to understand maths now that I’m helping my children with their homework. I say help 🙂 Watch perhaps… Alys

  10. Thats me during a math test 😛
    actually no me in a maths test is like;
    ‘zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’
    id rather be reading ur poems (or Harry Potter)
    could you do one about Harry Potter pls
    thx Beth xxx

    • Hi Bethany, zzzzzzzzzz. Oooops sorry, I keep falling asleep since reading your message. I think you must have attached a Harry Potter spell to it? Anyway, I expect I could write a Harry Potter poem. I’ve never considered it. Maybe I could call it Parry Hotter? Just so I don’t get into trouble. What do you think? Alys

  11. Dear Alys,
    I really like it because it’s funny and it reminds me of the time when my friend wanted to go to the toilet just because he hated maths, but then my other friend told the teacher that he would stay in the toilet for a long time. I also like how your poem rhythm and how there are lots of excuses to get out of the maths lesson.

    • Hi Linuka, thank you for the comments – they made me laugh 🙂 I hope you like maths more than your poor friend! Bye Alys

  12. Hi Alys do you like maths? I don’t like maths. So far I have read two of your poems and one story I will read more your stories poems.
    From Chethi P.S I love to read your stories and poems

    • Hi Chethya. Do I like maths? It depends. If I am counting chocolates then I LOVE maths, but otherwise, no not really 🙂 Thank you for your comments and I’m glad you enjoy my stories and poems. Bye Alys

  13. Hi Alys,
    My name is Mia I am 9 years old
    This poem is amazing! sometimes I feel the same and I like how you have a allergy to 4 6 3. My ending would be now can I finally go out side. Bye Alys

    • Hi again Mia – thank you for letting me know that you like the poem and I hope that you get to go outside 🙂 Bye Alys

  14. Dear Alys,
    This poem reminded me when I am in my language school I do half of my work and then ask my teacher to go out to play and she says “Do the rest of your work”.
    But you know I really love maths. 100+300=400
    About a different ending, I thought instead of the child saying to the teacher, can I go out to play, child could have said can I go home to play on my xbox. But I love outside play.
    Tirath

    • Wow Tirath, you are very good at maths!! That’s a huge addition. And I do like your different ending. I think it makes a lot of sense because so many children love to play on computers these days. When I was little we didn’t have computers… Bye Alys

  15. This poem is awesome it made me laugh, do you like math’s? . How do you get so many ideas for poems?

    • Hmmm, do I like maths? Well, Fleur, if I’m counting jellybeans then maybe yes. Otherwise….NOOOOOOOO! PS: I’m not sure where my ideas come from. Maybe from all the yummy greens I eat? Bye Alys 🙂

  16. Hi Alys I really like you no more maths short poem because I like the negotiating skills of the student. I never knew that hair could sneeze or your ears could fall of your head. this made me feel what excuses students make to not to do things that they don’t like.

    • Thank you Yenuli! 🙂 Your comments made me laugh. Good luck with your negotiating skills – I’m sure you’ll come up with something creatively convincing. Bye Alys

  17. The poem made me laugh. I liked how it sums up how I feel about maths. I liked the ending and wouldn’t change it.

    • Hi Jessica, I love your comment…”sums” up! Ha. Very good 🙂 And I’m glad you wouldn’t change the ending. I’m not sure I could think of another one!! Bye Alys

  18. This poem contained a lot of rhyming and it was extremely entertaining. However, I actually don’t mind maths but I understand that it is quite vital for the future. This was an absolutely amazing poem.

    • Well done understanding how important maths is to our future. Without maths the world would be a very dull place to live, don’t you think? Bye Chomilka.

  19. Love the poem because it’s insanely relatable. im always dreading having maths lessons at school but I understand why we would need simple maths in the future.

    • Wow, I love your phrase ‘insanely relatable’ and understand totally. I was always struggling at maths and still get confused with fractions and percentages which is very embarrassing at times…sigh! But, it really is essential to learn maths, don’t you think? Bye Alys

    • Ha ha. Your comment made me chuckle. Nice one, Dinethri. I wonder if your mother will believe you though? Hmmmm. Not sure about that!! Good luck 🙂 Bye again. Alys

  20. Hi Alys,
    When the poem said” I’m sorry sir I cannot do it cannot study maths today ”it kind like
    of lazy .why do you think some children not intersting to maths? But maths is my favorite subject!!!

    • Hi Methuli. I’m sorry this reply is so late!! And I love your comments 🙂 I agree it’s very, very lazy and lots of very intelligent people love maths. I’m glad maths is your favourite subject. You are very lucky to be good at maths. Bye Alys

  21. Hi Alys,
    I like maths. but your poem made me feel like to quit maths. I like how you used rhyming words and grammar especially ‘ is’ with ‘I’.

    • Hi Nuwin. I’m happy that you like maths so please don’t quit 🙂 🙂 And I’m very happy that you enjoyed my poem. Bye Alys

  22. Hi alys, this is a fantastic poem and I also dont like maths and its a funny way to express yourself

  23. Hi Alys Jackson

    I loved your poem. It made me laugh. I liked how you said that your were allergic to 4, 3 and 6. I would add I would vomit if I ever did algorithms. A different ending could have being could I go to play it is a sunny day? Yay!

    • Hmmm?! That is a very good question Natalee. I’m not sure where my ideas come from. I will have to start paying attention. 🙂

  24. Hi Alys Jackson loved your poem it was funny 👍❤️👍
    How do you get so many ideas for so many great poems??????????????????????????????❤️😀❤️
    From Jacinta ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • Wow Jacinta, what lovely hearts and thumbs up!!!! I’m not sure where the ideas come from. Hmmmm, I’ll have to give that some thought. 🙂 Bye Alys

  25. I read two other poems so I decided to read another poem I think it was great. Why did you decide to write it.
    From Lakeesha🐶🐰🐼🐼🐶🐶🐰🐰🐰🐼🐼🐼

    • Hi Lakeesha, I decided to write ‘No More Maths’ because I wasn’t very good at maths at school, and I thought it might be funny to come up with some very silly excuses. Bye Alys 🙂

    • Hi Kassim, 🙂 I must admit that maths was never my favourite subject at school. And thank you for your comments. Bye Alys

  26. Dear Alys Jackson,
    The poem made me feel like maths could be fun!
    I like the poem because it had rhyming words and it was funny.
    This poem makes me want to try and write my own poem like this, but maybe about science etc.
    Love the poem “NO MORE MATHS!”
    From Stephanie.

    • Hi Stephanie, some great comments! I really hope you try your own poem. They are such fun to write. Science is a good topic, too. Good luck Alys 🙂

  27. Hi Alys,
    I liked your poem as I liked the rhyming words. I don’t like maths.
    Thanks,
    Hunter

    • Hi Hunter, thank you for reading ‘No More Maths’ and I’m very happy that you like rhyming words. Bye Alys

  28. My name is Rosalie I’m from Elizabeth North Primary school . My age is 8 1/2 and I’m doing childrens university. I read your poem “No more maths”. I liked your poem because it was funny and really good to read. I hope you have a good day.

    • Hi Rosalie. Thank you for your lovely comments and I am really happy that you enjoyed my poem 🙂 I am very sorry that my message is so late!! I hope you have a good day, too! Bye, Alys

    • Hi Camila. Wouldn’t that be wonderful!? I don’t think your teacher would believe it though 🙂 Bye Alys

  29. I realy liked that poem👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
    So what inspired you to write that poem???
    I wish that all that stuff happened if i had to go to school so then i could do what ever i pleased😭😭😭IF ONLY😲
    Love Paige💟💟💟💜💜💜❤❤❤💗💗💗😎😎😎😍😍😍😉😉😉

    • Hi Paige, thank you for some great comments, and I love all the emoji’s 🙂 :). I wrote that poem because I DO NOT LIKE maths! I hope that you enjoy it more … Bye, Alys

  30. This poem is a great excuse for not doing maths, even though i love maths.
    And the poem has great rhyming words.

    • Hi Tawsida, I’m not sure your teachers will be pleased that my poem is giving you an excuse not to do maths :). Thank you for saying that the poem has great rhyming words. Bye, Alys

    • Hi again Emma, I’m glad that you thought the poem was funny and I hope that you enjoy maths at school. Bye Alys

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