I’m sorry Sir I cannot do it
cannot study maths today.
No, not now and no not never,
and not because I isn’t clever.
I’s a genius – that I know
because my granny told me so.
It’s just I have an allergy
to numbers 4 and 6 and 3.
Just to hear them brings on swelling,
achy knees and lots of yelling.
True Sir, cross my heart and hope to die
especially if I multiply!
That’s the worst.
I cannot do arithmetic,
I promise Sir I’ll be sore sick.
Plus and minus – doing sums
puts purple pimples on both thumbs,
my hair will sneeze, my eyes turn red
and both my ears drop off my head.
I cannot do it. Not today
So can I please go out and play?