Hi, my name is Alys Jackson and I'm a poet and writer

based in Adelaide, South Australia.

My work has been published in magazines,

anthologies and online.

Phineas McGonagall

Phineas McGonagall was very strange indeed,

For the manner of his feeding and for where he kept his feed.

Upon his head, he wore a wig of lamington and cheese.

His beard was full of ‘little boys’ that dangled to his knees.

Among his friends I must say there were many most disgusted:

And so would you be if you knew just where he kept his custard.

To critics Phiny simply smiled and said, ‘Now look here sonny!’

Stamped a dusty boot from which erupted blue gum honey.

‘With a narnie in me pocket and some damper in me daks,

I’m never short of tucker as I tred life’s sandy tracks.

From Alice Springs to Zanthus I have never ‘ad the munchies.

-Thanks mostly to me grundies where I keep a stash of crunchies!-

And I betcha when I cark it and am carried out feet first,

The tinnies in me pocket slake the undertaker’s thirst!’


Test yourself. How good is your knowledge of Australian words? 

Lamington = an Australian sponge cake coated in chocolate and rolled in coconut.

‘little boys’ = small cocktail sausages.

Narnie = a banana.

Damper = a traditional type of soda bread.

Daks = a pair of trousers.

Tucker = a slang word meaning ‘food’.

Munchies = to be hungry for snacks.

Grundies = a slang rhyming word for ‘undies’ or underwear.

Cark it = to die.

Tinny = a can of beer.


10 thoughts on “Phineas McGonagall

  1. This should go in a movie in the introduction in my opinion. I really liked it a lot. Thanks!!! Regards, Jameson. P.S. I really like all of your poems and story’s.

    • Hi Jameson, I’m so pleased you like my poem (and stories). Wow! A movie. I love that idea 🙂 Thanks Alys

  2. Hi its Leah here, i think its really funny that there are small cocktail sausages in his beard and he wears a wig made of food. Imagine how annoying the flies would be if you really had that much food on your head.
    Thank you
    From Leah

    • Hi again Leah. I hadn’t thought about the flies. You are very right – it would be incredibly annoying!! Thanks for all your comments, Alys

    • Hi Abbey, I’m so glad you like the poem. I wrote it because I wanted to use some of our amazing Aussie vocabulary. 🙂 Bye Alys

    • Hello Jack. I’m so glad that your pop uses Aussie words; they can be such fun. Thank you for your comments. Bye Alys

    • Hi Emma, Goodness me, that sounds like it would be pretty difficult to do! I’m afraid I don’t really know what a Russian accent sounds like 🙂 Bye Alys

Leave a comment